Mental Health Sunday

Today is Mental Health Sunday. Mental Health is something that impacts all of us. We might struggle with our own mental health for short periods of time or throughout a lifetime. We might support a family member or friend who lives with mental illness. Even though mental health challenges are a reality for many people, we don’t talk about it and there is still shame and stigma attached to these illnesses and challenges.

Psalms 88 and Psalm 31:1-5, 15-16 remind me of my own struggle with mental health. I have found the last few years very challenging. Between covid, changes that happened here at church, my mom’s death, our Abby dog’s death, and physical health issues which led to major surgery, I felt very overwhelmed. I prayed and meditated lots but found myself going deeper into a funk. I had trouble sleeping. My motivation and focus were non-existent. I had outbursts of anger. I would get up in the morning determined to have a good day and by noon I’d be sitting at my desk weeping for no apparent reason. My emotions were always very close to the surface. I felt completely overwhelmed and unable to function. When people asked how I was, I mostly put on a smile and responded with something like, “I’m doing ok.” There were very few people I felt I could share my reality with. I started taking an anti-depressant which has evened out the mood swings and allows me to function in a better way. Some days are still hard and challenging. Throughout my life, I have engaged in counseling, spiritual direction, and coaching as ways of supporting my mental health, processing crises, and finding space to be honest about the realities I’m facing.

I can relate to the writer of the psalm. There were many times during this period when I felt abandoned by God, abandoned by others. I didn’t have the capacity to reach out and ask for help and support. I cried a lot and felt trapped within myself. My trust in myself and others was completely shattered. My confidence was shaken. I could feel and see myself dropping deeper and deeper into a pit of despair.

The experience of mental illness is different for everyone, but I wonder how many of us can relate to the psalmist’s sense of abandonment—of praying but not feeling God’s presence. I think the stigma and shame that continues to be attached to mental illness makes it extra challenging to talk about it with others and to seek the support we might need. When we have a physical illness or pain, most of us will take a painkiller or go to a doctor. We recognize that as a legitimate time to seek support. When we have a mental illness, we are more likely to think it is our own failing. “I don’t know why I can’t get over this…” “If I just pray.” “I just need to think positive thoughts.” When we get in these mental loops and there is little shift in our feeling and outlook it adds to the shame and isolation we might already be feeling.

There are things we can do on our own to help and support our mental health, but we also need to understand there is no shame in talking to someone, going for counseling, seeing a doctor, or taking medication. Often, we need to do a combination of things on our own and seek support from others.

Our mental and spiritual health are deeply intertwined. Spiritual practices that help us connect with the Holy also support our mental health.

During this challenging time, God Our Protector was a hymn that I found helpful to remind me of God’s presence. It often grounded me and helped me to reconnect with the Holy. It reminded me that I was not alone. It might be helpful to find a hymn, a piece of scripture, or a poem that helps you to be grounded and calm. Something that you can either know already or that you can easily memorize are good places to start.

Meditation and prayer are important in supporting good mental health. To a certain extent, I use these words interchangeably because they both allow us into a spirit place. Prayer is often a way of pouring out what is on our hearts and minds. Meditation creates a space to listen for what the holy might be saying to us. I find journalling a good way of praying. I tend to do it when I am upset, angry, hurt, or frustrated. This type of journaling works well if you write as fast as you can, without a filter. If it has lots of four-letter words, it might be an honest reflection of how we are feeling. God doesn’t need us to filter or sanitize the conversation. The practice of journalling allows me to empty all that strong energy so that I can be open to whatever comes next.

There are lots of meditation apps that we can put on our phones. Some meditations focus on breathing which helps us to be grounded and settled. They help us to regulate our energy. Some meditations provide music or nature sounds so that we can focus on wherever our hearts need to take us. Some meditations are guided and will offer words to point us in a particular direction. Different meditations work for different times and will suit each of us differently. Try a few out until you find what works for you.

Struggling with our mental health isn’t something we should be ashamed of but I find it easy to get hooked into thinking that I can get through this, it’s just temporary, and I should have my life together. When we get into those spaces, it might be helpful to go back to one of the psalms that we heard today. These psalms remind us that others, throughout time have struggled with feeling abandoned by God and others. Our ancestors in faith knew what it felt like to be in a pit of despair.

The psalms remind us that we are not alone in these experiences, and they are common to many people across time. These psalms could be a source of hope. Psalm 31 speaks of God as a refuge, a place of safety. I think that’s important for us. God doesn’t abandon us, even when we feel completely alone.

When you feel yourself being hooked by shame, I encourage you to practice self-compassion. Know that you are enough, however you are in that moment. Know that you are not alone. All of us experience mental health challenges or illness at some point in our lives. When moments of challenge arise, use practices that will allow you to process strong emotions and find a sense of God’s presence. Reach out to someone you trust. Don’t be afraid to talk about mental illness. Sharing your struggles might allow someone else to share their own reality.

Living Stones

Photo by ShonEjai on Pexels.com

This reflection is from May 10.  I invited people to have either a stone and markers to write on the stone or paper. Included with the weekly print newsletter was a picture of stones and the e-newsletter had a link to a picture that could be printed. At various points during the reflection, I invited people to write on their stone or paper and/or offer words and phrases in the Zoom chat box to be shared in online community.

I love the image in 1 Peter 2:2-10  of the living stones. We often think of rocks as inanimate. We imagine them as solid, unchanging. When everything around us is changing, rocks remain constant. Psalm 31 reminds us that God is like a rock or a mountain – giving strength, providing protection. How many millions of years did it take mountains to form? We don’t usually see rocks changing so we forget that stones wear down, they grow into mountains. They can be broken by violence and trauma.

As disciples of Jesus, we are called to be living stones. Sometimes we can’t see the process of change happening in ourselves or others. We only see the constancy of who we believe someone to be. And yet over time, God works on us like the rocks and mountains, wearing down the rough edges and building up strength. Sometimes we are broken by the trauma that happens in our lives.

These forces that build-up, wear down and sometimes traumatize us help to create our identity as people of faith. It is that identity that I am inviting us to focus on today. Take a moment and think about your life. What are the experiences that have built you up, worn you down or have been traumatic? Take a moment and jot something down on the rock paper you have handy. Since today is Mother’s day, you might want to think about the influence that your mom had on your life. Sometimes moms draw out the best in us. For some, our relationship with our mothers is more complicated. The experience of our mothers changes throughout our lives but regardless of the relationship, we are shaped by our mothers.

In my own life, I used to think of myself as shy, insecure, and even unworthy. When I was doing my diaconal training for ministry, I found that the experience of spending time in community and being challenged by others shifted my identity to a place where most of the time I feel strong and confident. That experience shaped my identity.

How have your life experiences shaped you? Have they helped you to become compassionate, gentle, strong, independent, cautious of others or out-going? What words would you use to describe the characteristics these experiences have created in you? If you are online, type a word or phrase that describes these characteristics into the chatbox. You can also jot it on your paper.

These characteristics are part of God’s being within you. They are the essence of the living-God within you. This God being formed and re-formed within you.

On its own, a rock is a single, solitary rock. When it is placed with other rocks it becomes part of something else—a building, a monument, a bridge. God, the builder, takes us—living stones and builds us into something called “the church.” On our own, we are single and solitary. When we are connected, we become part of something else—still a living stone in our own right but part of something bigger than ourselves.

Our personal identities as disciples of Jesus become part of the larger. You can still see the individuals, but they are connected to and shaped by the stones around them. If you look at a rock on its own and then place it beside other rocks, you might notice that colour might appear different, perhaps the rough edges don’t seem as rough, perhaps some of the patterns in the rock is more or less noticeable. I think this also true of us as the church. When we become part of the church we are changed. We might notice that being part of a community of faith brings out qualities we didn’t know we had. We might discover gifts or skills or see ourselves and others in a different light.

The world and the church are in a moment of upheaval and change. As we go through this Covid time, we need to reflect deeply on our identity. What is the essence of God within us as individuals and what qualities is God inviting us to share with the world? What qualities or characteristics are most important to us as a church? This is also a moment for us to think about the role of church in our communities and world? What are the characteristics of the church that disciples of Jesus can share with the world?

As we move forward in this time, we need to consider carefully what it means to be living stones, shaped in God’s image and built together into something larger than ourselves.